Are you ready to get real? Like, really real? Here's a peak in to my private life, so don't judge.
When I moved out to Los Angeles, I thought I was taking responsibility over my life. Then, one morning I found myself bawling my eyes out under my covers pouring my heart out to a journal that wasn't responding. So I packed up my things and drove home (thank goodness home is only an hour and a half away). When I met with some dear friends and mentors, they not only loved me through my hardship but they also gave me the little slap in the face that I needed. They reminded me that I have ownership over my life. I moved out of my parents house and up to LA because I wanted to. I didn't have any friends in LA because I had made the choice to leave them at home and strike out on my own. I didn't have a steady income because I decided to work a part time retail job while pursuing my passion in the film industry. I was unhappy because of choices I made, not because of the circumstances I just so happened to find myself in.
Life didn't just happen to me. I was where I was because of the choices I made. Yes, certain things happen to you but it's how you react that is important. If you react with a sense of despair and "of course this would happen to me" (like I was) then you are not taking responsibility and ownership over yourself or your choices. On the other hand, if you acknowledge the circumstances you find yourself in and decide to move on with a mindset of productivity and acceptance instead of despair and regret, then you are taking ownership and responsibility over your life in a positive way.
I remember growing up with my parents telling me to take responsibility for my actions. I actually got in trouble a few times over for doing the exact opposite. But when I became an adult living in the "real world" the idea of responsibility, and even ownership, seemed to transform in to some unrecognizable, amorphous blob of who-knows-what. And, in talking with my parents before I moved up to LA, I would throw around the idea of "being responsible" but I don't think I truly knew the extent of what that meant.
People who live passively in the present straddle both past and future and do nothing about either. That's not taking responsibility or ownership of your life. But when you utilize the past as a tool to make better decisions in the present, you can drastically change, not only your present circumstances, but your future as well. That's taking ownership and responsibility over your life. That's changing your perspective on life so that you don't live life as a victim but a victor. Every decision you make will either make you a stronger person, or not. It's as simple as that. And you have the power to make those decisions by looking at the past as a tool and taking responsibility over the choices you make and where they lead.
Don't end up living life as a victim of circumstance, like I had done. I was where I was, crying under my covers, because of the choices I had made. But now I live my life with intention, with responsibility, with ownership over my actions and I am now the victor in my own life.
"You can't change the past. You can change the future. Would you rather be influenced by something you can't change, or by something you can?" - The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson