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6 Things NOT To Do As A Recent Ex-Girlfriend

First things first, I'm so sorry you're going through a breakup. Breakups are never fun. They suck and they rip your heart right out. But I can promise you, it will get better over time. My last breakup took me a good couple months to get over. But one day, I stopped crying over it. And then I deleted his number. And finally, I deleted the last photo of him off my phone. And now I hardly think of him at all. So I promise you will heal over time. But during that time, here are a couple things you should probably avoid doing.

1) Don't give him a reason to justify breaking up with you

In other words, DON'T DO ANYTHING CRAZY!!! I'm talking to you, girl! Trust me, I've been there. And I've had friends who have done that. It never ends well. Don't destroy his car or light his things on fire in his driveway. Don't punch him in the balls in the middle of the street or slap him and throw a drink in his face (I've desperately wanted to do this one before). It might make you feel better but then he can turn around and use that to call you a crazy b*tch to his friends, which we all know is not true. He will make you look like the bad guy. Don't let him do that!

2) Don't have your scary guy friends or brothers text or call him to tell him he's a horrible person or a jerk or whatever else you want him to know

It won't get you anywhere and it won't make you feel better. I know because I tried it. And my brothers had the right mind to tell me that's not a good idea and instead they made me laugh with jokes (shout out to the most amazing brothers ever!). This also plays in to the first suggestion too. Don't do anything crazy and give him a reason to justify breaking up with you.

3) Whatever you do, DON'T GET DRUNK!!!

When I was broken up with, one of the best things my friend made me promise was that I would not drink that night and that I would wait to drink back at home with her. I waited and it was probably one of the best decisions ever. He's not worth the immediate hangover. Trust me because I've been on the other side of that hangover and it didn't solve anything. In fact, that night I did get drunk, my roommate and I went to my school's Hunter Hayes concert and I bawled my eyes out to "Wanted". It was not an easy night and I didn't feel much better the next morning either. So just don't do it! Instead get some delicious pizza and ice cream. Way better than getting drunk anyways.

4) Don't mope inside doing nothing for days on end

I'm not saying you can't feel heartbroken. It's incredibly natural and healthy to feel heartbroken. But one of the best things for loneliness is to surround yourself with people who care about you and love you. Remember that the world didn't end outside of your world crumbling. When you get out in the fresh air and when you are around others, you can start rebuilding your life and heal from that missing part of you. And make sure to remember that, although your friends want to support you through this heartbreak and hear all about it, they don't want to hear about it every time you guys are together. That's one of the fastest ways to push away your friends after a heartbreak. I promise you can do this!

5) Don't pretend that everything is okay

The truth is, it's not. For however long, that guy was a big part of your life. And now you have to move on without him and rediscover who you are. It is not easy. It hurts and it sucks. You feel this dull ache inside you, like a black hole that is sucking everything from inside you. Just know you aren't alone. Everyone has been where you are at least once. I've been there. Your friends have been there. Every girl has been there and we are right there with you now.

6) Don't rebound

This goes almost hand in hand with tip number 3, don't get drunk. Although it may feel good for however long, you don't want to mask the heartbreak you're feeling. The only way to heal is to feel. Allow yourself that time to heal and rediscover who you are as an individual. By doing that, you can be your best self for the next time you meet someone who is actually worth it. Plus you'll be ready as a women to be in a relationship again.

I hope this helps you get through the heartbreak you are suffering through right now. Just know you aren't alone. Reach out to friends. Reach out to family. And don't run away of hide from the pain because you won't be able to heal that way. It will get better over time, I promise!

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