Confidence is the ability to know oneself and be able to push beyond our own limits. So why is it so hard to go to the movies alone? Or step out of our comfort zone and try that art class? Or post that photo to social media? Because, when we put ourselves out there for the world to see, we feel exposed. We feel vulnerable. We feel out of place sometimes. And we can even feel judged for it. And, I don't know about you guys, but judgement terrifies me.
I've come to realize that it's fear that is the enemy of confidence and it's fear of judgment, particularly, that holds me back a lot of the time. Because when we are vulnerable, we don't want people to hurt us. But we can't let this fear keep us from pushing ourselves and growing as individuals. And of course not everyone is going to have that fear of judgement that keeps them from their confidence, but it might be something else, like the fear of failure instead (I actually just wrote about failure, which is linked below). But the point of the matter is, fear keeps us from the confidence to be our best self.
So how are you supposed to overcome that fear? There's a chance you won't overcome it. There's a chance it will always be there, whether big or small, and it might just ebb and flow over time. And that's totally normal. But I do believe that time heals all things. The more I put myself in a place of vulnerability, and the more my fear is denied, the more confidence I have in putting myself out there again. At the end of the day everyone just wants to be accepted for who they are. So the first thing I would say is that gaining confidence takes time and it's only when we confront that fear that we can start gaining that confidence.
Second, know that everyone lacks confidence in one way or another. They understand fear because they are human just like you. And the greatest part is, when you step out in confidence, that encourages everyone else to stand in their own confidence as well.
Lastly, know that life is short and we only get to live it once. Ask yourself, will I regret not taking this opportunity or do that special something or other? Will I look back and wish I had done more, tried more? Know that it's only for a moment that you feel uncomfortable. It's only for a moment that you might feel judged. But know that that moment is so small in the grand scheme of things. It's just a moment. And it might even be a moment that changes everything for you.
Having confidence is not easy sometimes, but I can tell you, when you overcome that obstacle or fear and get to the other side, you can realize just how much you grew and just how much confidence you can and now do have. You can feel proud of yourself for your accomplishment and then prepare for the next, bigger challenge.
Here's a link to a Youtube video that also deals with lacking confidence that has really helped me. Kalyn Nicholson is such a amazing Youtuber, so check out this video of hers that inspired me to write this post: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tOIzJkURUU&list=PLqmGMxCCXnxVnXVcWTn9Hi6B9y2vzQ6NQ&index=2
Link to my post about fear of failing: https://extraordinarywonder.wixsite.com/extraordinarywonder/single-post/2017/10/18/Two-of-the-Scariest-Words-in-Humanity-Failure-and-Quitting-Redefined